By: Daniella Suarez
Link to: Chapter 1
My heart began to race. I felt like my heart was going to pop out of my chest. My father’s eyes were bloodshot. I knew he was drunk again. “What are you doing in my room?” I didn’t know what to say, I felt like he was going to slap me if I responded so I stayed quiet. He noticed that I had the photo in my hands. He immediately took it out of my hands and threw it against the wall. “Don’t you ever come in my room again, understand?” I held in my tears. The picture had a glass frame and there was glass everywhere. I nodded my head and ran to my room and quickly locked the door.
That was one of the only pictures I had with my mom. We were at the beach with my mom, dad and sister. That was one of the best days ever, and now every memory of it is gone. I lied down on my bed and stared at the ceiling, wondering how my mom was doing. I had days like this frequently. Sometimes I’m just out of it and I don’t want to do anything but sit alone and think about how terrible my life is.
The next morning was terrible. I woke up and my father was gone. He didn’t leave a note or anything. There was 50 dollars on the table which meant that I had to order my own dinner for the next few nights. On my way to school I stopped by my boyfriend’s house. His name is Hunter. Our moms were best friends; we have basically known each other since birth. It wasn’t until last year when he asked me to be his girlfriend. He knows the most about me but he doesn’t know the most important thing. He doesn’t know about my father abusing me and I hope he doesn’t find out. Whenever I arrive to Hunter’s house his mother always looks at me with sympathy. I don’t like it when people pity me.
We walked to school together like we always do. He began to ask me suspicious questions. “Gabby are you… are you happy?”
I kind of didn’t know how to respond to that so I just questioned it. “What do you mean? Of course I’m happy!” That was the biggest lie I’ve probably ever told anyone, saying that I’m happy when in reality my heart is screaming. I was really confused. I don’t know what could have triggered him to ask that question. Whenever someone asks me if I’m okay it’s because they know something about me. Finally, we got to school and he held my hand and looked at me directly in the eye. “Gabby, I love you and I care about you. I know about your father and I’m sorry, but I really think you should tell someone before I do.”
The mood completely changed. I have no idea how he could have possibly found out. My facial expression changed completely. I let go of his hand and ran away. I didn’t know where I was going but I never looked back.
I eventually ended up at my house. I had the worst anxiety. I only felt this way whenever someone finds out something horrible about me. When I was 12, I had self-harmed for the first time and being the careless girl that I am, I went to school with a short-sleeved shirt and my best friend Emily noticed. I tried denying it but it was no use. Once she found out, she immediately shut me out of her life. I guess having a best friend with scars was too much for her to handle. When people get to know me, they always leave me and forget me. Which is the exact reason I didn’t want Hunter to know about it. I just know that he’s going to leave me and I’m going to have no one in my life who cares about me. I heard a knock on my door and I was prepared for screaming and abuse, but it was Hunter.