Where’s My Smile? – Tustin High School's Online Magazine

By Cristobal Segura

It’s 3 a.m. and you’re awake. You’re not happy at all. You feel empty, dreadful, hopeless and worthless. This is what depression feels like. Sleepless nights are spent hiding in the shadows of your room trying to think about something to make you feel worthy of being alive. It’ doesn’t work. You feel numb on the outside and hurt on the inside.

Many people suffer from depression. Some manage to hide it while others show it. Different people cope with depression in different ways. Some people harm themselves. It’s a method in which they can focus on the pain they’re inflicting on themselves rather than dealing with internal pain. Different types of self-harm includes: cutting and/or burning of the skin, punching things, hitting oneself and drinking poisonous substances, drinking alcohol and/or using drugs. Since both substances mess with the mind, this causes people to think that alcohol and drugs relax them by making them forget about their problems, but only for a few hours. Last but not least, people try immersing themselves in their favorite hobbies. This could range from listening to music to a walk in the park–anything to make the person forget the pain.

Depression does not target anyone specifically. This common illness is found in many people, but not everyone can live with it. Suicide is a last go-to move. People that have this illness tend to look for a way out. They don’t want to die, they want the pain to stop. They’ve been strong for so long, but somehow hit a breaking point. They believe nothing can fix them. They won’t be the same person they were maybe a day, week or month ago. This is their thought–Just leave without goodbyes. However, it’s important to remember that help exists and there’s always a better way than suicide.

Depression isn’t an easy thing to deal with. People will tell you to “get over it” but the thing is, it doesn’t work like that. You can’t just “be happy” again. You can’t just forget the pain and act like it never happened. It’s going to stay there and no matter how much you try to forget, you can’t just erase that feeling of being down, feeling hopeless, and experiencing the emptiness and struggles you went through. It doesn’t work that way. It takes time to recover from depression and for the people suffering from depression, remember that you’re not alone. People all over the world struggle with pain and depression.

For the people suffering and need somebody to talk to, please don’t hesitate and call these numbers. You won’t regret it.

Crisis Call Center

800-273-8255 or text ANSWER to 839863

Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week

http://crisiscallcenter.org/crisisservices.html

Depression and Bipolar Support

800-273-TALK (8255)

Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week

http://www.dbsalliance.org

National Hopeline Network

800-SUICIDE (784-2433)

800-442-HOPE (4673)